Ep 82: How Quitting Can Sometimes Help You Win, Quitting By Design Author Lynn Marie Morski
As a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and lifelong quitter, Lynn Marie Morski founded Quitting By Design, wrote a book about it, and is now on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting. At first blush, this might sound like an odd pairing for a podcast about Perseverance, but the truth is that it wasn't until I quit playing Division I Lacrosse at Boston College, that I was able to discover acting, which became my life's passion and my career.
We talk about how quitting can help reveal your life’s purpose, how to maximize the benefits and minimize the challenges associated with major life changes, the number of ways in which quitting can lead to more success than you've ever had, why quitting has been stigmatized, the benefits of confronting your fears of being labeled a "failure" if you decide to quit something, and how to prepare yourself for a "successful" quit, whether from a job, a relationship or something else entirely.
“The difference between quitting and giving up is that, quitting is when you realize that something is just not in line with your passion your purpose and your values”, (07:28). “I don’t think I give up a lot, I quit when I realize that something is not for me, but it may not take me a long time to make that realization”, (09:08). I pass that along to a lot of people that I speak to who worry a lot about what other people will think when they quit and I point out that those other people have never been you they’ve never been in your shoes, and secondly, in today’s distractful society how long are they going to think about it period, (10:05). “A lot of times when you quit a thing people are actually proud of you, and think it’s a courageous move so they might think nothing...if they think negatively, how long until they swipe down on Instagram, they will think about it for such a short period of time while you have to live it 24/7”, (10:25). “If its a marriage that’s ruining your life, and you’re like ‘what will people think of me when I get divorced?’ people will think about it for 30 seconds, you’re living it 24/7, if it’s stressing you it’s taking years off your life, not theirs”, (10:46). “To continuously tell people to live their best life without giving them the tools to leave the other one is not really fair”, (12:56). “If you want to call it evolving, or whatever it takes us for us to destigmatize it [quitting] I will go down that path with you but the point is that you gotta stop what isn’t working and start a new thing”, (13:46). The strategic quitting plan has FIVE STEPS, the first is realizing that something needs to go. Step two is figuring out exactly what it is, or where the friction point is. The next step is identifying and overcoming any fear for leaving what you want to quit. Step four is preparing the logistics, and then the fifth step is enacting the quit in a way that preserves the relationship as best as possible and burns the fewest of bridges”, (14:33). “My first semester of college I changed my major four times”, (20:46). “A lot of people see this and they may say that it’s selfish of you to quit, but it is selfish of you not to quit. If you are in a position that you are not at your best and if your”, (31:20). If you learn anything from time spent in a relationship, educational endeavor, then it’s not a waste, even if the thing you learned is that you never want to do it again, (38:20). “The word NO means not right for you right now, or yes to something else”, (38:45). “That’s why the fifth step of quitting is really important because as long as you don’t burn bridges and you maintain those relationships, it’s a lot more likely that you’ll be able to go back to that other thing,” (40:00). MOTTOS: This too shall pass, this is all happening for a reason, this is all part of a plan, (40:44). I wish I could go back to 3-year old me and stop worrying, (42:00).
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